As for me and my house we will serve the Lord

Well everyone, I dont quite know how to say this so I am just going to say it. Our agency has rejected our application due to financial reasons. Ethiopia has specific guidelines along with the agency and we do not meet them at this time. We may be able to pursue another country, possibly another agency, possibly domestic, we just dont know for sure right now.

I have to tell you I felt like a truck ran over me yesterday when I heard the news. Anna from the agency was so very kind all through the process. I was moved by the last email she sent to me, at the end of it she said to not let anyone steal our dream, if God has called us he will make a way. Yesterday was a tough day to make through to be honest. All sorts of emotions and doubts began running through my mind. Was God really in all of this? How could this happen. I spoke with several of my friends and they all said not to give up. They all tried to encourage me but I think it was like grieving. One of my friends said I had to go through the process. I told my wife last night I felt like one of my children had died. I dont know if any of that makes sense to you but the emotion was deep and very painful.

You know when you are going through something like this, and everyone in your world says things to you to encourage you? People tend to think they have to say something. I especially appreciated my friend at work. He came to my office after I emailed him to pray for me. He just sat there with a deep look of compassion on his face and listened. I would speak a little and be still for a few minutes. Then I would say something else. He just listened. He taught me something on how just being there for someone, without all the answers so called, can really minister to you. I hope to practice that more often. This is not to say there are not times we need to use words of wisdom with those who are hurting, perhaps just use a few less.

Whats next for us you might be asking? I honestly dont know. We are going to pray and seek God's guiding. Please pray for us to know which direction to go. As Anna told me, the DREAM IS NOT DEAD!

The last thing I want to share with you is what my wife told me last night. She said that maybe God wanted to see if I would listen to his heart in all of this. As I have said before, my plan was that our family was complete. Four kids after all is not too shabby? Right? But he had other plans for us. I know he changed my heart. The hard part for me yesterday was thinking through all of this. How could God have led me all this way only to have it end like this. Then Lisa gave me this thought. So I want all of you to know, that as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. No matter what he leads us through, no matter what emotions we have to spend, no matter if we can see the path and where it all leads, we will follow him!